Learn to communicate effectively

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It’s not until a friend shared with me about a witle-to-be that broke up on the eve of their wedding because of a misunderstanding that I realized how vital effective communication is.

One of my favourite quotes says that between what is said and not meant and what is meant and not said, most love is lost. I cannot stress how much critical communication is in any relationship.
Disagreements will always be there but how we talk about them brings the whole difference. Some of us have the habit of assuming the other party knows what is happening. That they are supposed to be aware when we are stressed, not in a good mood or something is wrong. We expect them to behave or handle us in a certain way, and when they don’t that becomes a fight.

While there are people who can easily tell when a friend is not okay, majority of people are poor at this, and unless you talk it out no one will help even if they have the ability.
When communication lacks, most things are ruined because instead of knowing what the other person is feeling, we assume. Hence learn to communicate. Say what you don’t like or how you’re feeling. If you don’t like a dress your wife wears, don’t avoid walking with her because she wore it. Let her know you don’t like it and she will never wear it because it’s in the nature of a woman to please the man she values. The problem with some of us, we know how to air our views but in the wrong way.
If you told her something like “honey, I like it more when you wear the other dress instead of this”. A sharp woman will understand that you don’t like it and she will change into what you love. However, there are these kinds of people who will just say something like ” you look thirty years older than your age in that dress”. Though she will change into something else, damage will have been done.

As much as the message is the same, how it is communicated and its effect is totally different. It is therefore imperative to air your view but more so, airing them properly, otherwise quarrel among people will never seize if they don’t talk about issues in their lives.

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